A Malfoy is Nothing Less than a Malfoy
by Brisbane Harrinator
Summary: Rose and Scorpious have maintained their father's traditions, hating each other. But when they are forced together through duties and 'gentle' nudges through friends will Rose start to feel as soon as a bludger to the head? Can Malfoy finally get past his ignorance and see that Rose is more than a book worm with abnormal hair?
1. Chapter 1

**Hi all! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. If I did, Dumbledore, Snape, Fred, Mad-Eye, Lupin and Tonks would still be alive and Umbridge would be dead.**

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They say to can tell a lot about someone by the way they walk.

Nerds walk like the Hunchback from the Hunchback of Notre Dame with their head hung low as if their nose is in a good book.

A git walks like they have something stuck up their ass, with their backs arched and noses in the air.

A womanizer walks with at least 2 women by his side clinging unto him for dear life.

Scorpious Malfoy was no different than the womanizer and the git.

Walking with an invisible rod up his ass and Antonia "Toni" Abbott and Julia "Jules" Parkinson rubbing his 'muscular' arms I was ready to crack it but Al was there to stop me.

"Don't do it Rose, you can't lose your Head Girl status before you step into Hogwarts." Al said having me in a body tackle.

"Al there are no teachers here I can do whatever I want." I said through gritted teeth starting to slip out of Al's grasp ready to body check Malfoy.

"Ok let me rephrase that, don't do it unless you want to be on the receiving end of my Mum's Bay Bogey Hex and who knows what Aunt Hermione Hex." Al's comment made me froze. Thank god I have Al. After 5 minutes Al deemed I was mentally stable enough to control my own actions.

"Come on, let's go talk to Dominique, Louis or some Weasley cousin." I said as we walked to the 'Weasley Platform Corner' where we had to walk right past the Malfoy show, I looked the opposite way while Al tightened his grip on my hand while my knuckled turned a spectacular shade of white on my other hand that was clasped around Crookshanks II's cage.

"Oi Pippi!" I heard Malfoy yell but I walked past with my nose in the air.

"Who's Pippi?" I asked Al when we were out of Malfoy's reach.

"How would I know bookworm!" Al said as we approached the Weasley Platform Corner.

"Hey Dom, where are the others?" I asked surprised to see only the one Weasley.

"In the Weasley Carriage, we knew you would be late so I stayed behind and waited for you guys." Dom said as we stepped onto the plane barely noticing the lack of children on the station. Now I'm not joking, but as soon as we stepped on the train, the train started moving. Inside the 3rd last carriage on the train was a mix of blondes, brunettes but mainly red heads playing Exploding Snap, sipping their Pumpkin Juice with a Weasley Twist (normally a dab of Firewhiskey for anyone 15 or above, no doubt Fred and James idea) and eating their Licorice Wands and Chocolate Frogs respectively. No-one ate Pumpkin Pasties because Uncle Harry hated them for some reason.

"Did you know the Weird Sister are going on a tour in Latvia!" Lily told Roxy as Dom and I joined them in the gossip circle (or in our case, more like square).

"Do they even have witches and wizards in Latvia?" Roxy asked.

"Of course they must if the Weird Sisters are going there!" Dom told Roxy as the latter and Lily looked at Dom. Noticing I was beside Dom Lily was ready to pounce.

"Rose! You should be at the head compartment waiting for your hot new Head Boy!" Lily scolded me. Although she was only 15, the girl was intimidating.

"Maybe it's Henry McLaggen" Roxy gushed. Henry McLaggen is a Gryffindor who had puberty on his side. Ocean wave blonde hair and emerald green eyes, he could make any girl worship his feet. Me included.

"I wish." I replied, since we found out Albus wasn't Head Boy, my second hope had been Henry.

"Well go and find out." Dom said and I did just that. Well not really I went to the Head compartment, sat down and waited. And waited. And waited. I think it was by the third hour of waiting that I finally got something out to read. Although I was dying to read _Standard Book of Spells Volume 7_ I knew Henry would probably not like that so I grabbed a copy of Witch Weekly and flicked through the issue. I didn't even notice the door opening as I was so engrossed in the _How to tell if your boyfriend is a secret troll _quiz.

"Ah Pippi!" A voice drawled as I looked up and saw a familiar bristle of blonde hair.

Ah Crap

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**Please Review! Tell me your thoughts, your ideas, why Harry Potter is so much better than Twilight or your favourite colour for all I care!**

**Cheers!**

**Brisbane Harrinator**


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm back with another Chapter! Thanks for everyone who read and I here's another one for you!**

**Enjoy!**

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"So Pippi what did you put in your room? Picture of cats, Weasley's and other hideous sappy things?" Malfoy asked as I exited my room flushed. He was reading his Advance Ancient Runes textbook, lying down in a way that I couldn't sit down.

"What did you put in yours? A shrine to Voldemort and another one for the devil?" I retorted sitting on the little seat opposite the sofa getting comfy, or attempting to, while digging my nose into the start of _Standard book of Spells 7_.

"Don't talk to me, you're not worthy of my time." Scorpious said not even having the decency to look up over his book.

"You're the one who started the conversation." I pointed out giving the decency to look at him (blocked by his book) and started to read. Instantly, Malfoy got up, and stalked over to my reading spot.

"You might want to check your hair Pippi." Malfoy said patting my hand and walking to his room. I waited until he had closed the door before I went to the bathroom and checked my hair.

The git had put a Tangle Curse on my hair so it looked like a balloon had a field day on my hair.

_Motherfu-!_

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"Dom, he put a bloody Tangle Curse on my hair! Do you know how much Sleekeazy I had to use to tame it?!" I whispered through charms. While we were meant to attempt to complete a non-verbal _Windgardium Leviosa_ spell but I had to vent my frustration to someone. From the first Head/Prefect meeting to the intense studying for NEWTs, I haven't been able to talk to any Weasleys; but now was an opportunity and I was going to take it.

"Don't you think that's immature even for Malfoy?" Dominique asked.

"Finally someone understands!" I sighed a huge relief.

"No, boys always act immature when they like a girl." Dominique said smugly my smile fading. Even though we call the 'Boy whisperer Weasley' she can be wrong sometimes, right?

"No!" I said a little too loudly earning stern looks from Professor Flitwick II.

"Please do not talk students." Flitwick II said knowing very well no-one would follow through that request.

"Rose I love you and your smart and stuff, but it is my duty as you favourite –"

"Ahem." Al said interrupting Dominique on the other side of me. I didn't realise he was listening.

"-one of your favourite cousins that this 'anger' that you and Malfoy have is an obvious mask that you are into each other. I was immediately horrified. Although I must admit the git it physically attractive, I would rather go out with one of Hagrid's infamous Blast Ended Skewerts Mum had told me about from her memories of fourth year.

"The day I like Malfoy is that day that Hogsmade turns into a barber." I said through gritted teeth as the bell rang, thankful for the reason to drop this conversation which was making me sick.

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"Do you believe Dom?" I asked Al as we dug into roast turkey for lunch.

"Are Boggarts a delight?" Al asked back with his mouth full and spraying my robes with his spit.

"It's times like these I am thankful that you don't give serious answers." I said wiping off his contribution to my robes.

"What's wrong this time?" Louis asked siting down and stealing my barely eaten turkey leg. I wasn't a food tank like my Dad is.

"Dominique has this disillusion idea that Malfoy is attracted to me." I replied and telling him about the hair fiasco.

"Malfoy? He's too busy soaking up Antonia and Julia's attention to think about anything else." Louis said earning a well-deserved laugh from Albus and I.

"Pippi, have you finally realised that the thing you call your hair is something worth ridiculing?" Malfoy asked in his Malfoy drawled with the two slags by his side.

"Oh my gee Malfoy you are so funny." Antonia (Slag 1) said slapping his arm and then rubbing the 'sore spot' she gave him.

"No, we are laughing at the thing you call your life as it's a bloody soap opera." Louis said gaining the laughs of Gryffindor's alike.

"I'll have you know Weasley that I have more admirers in my pinky nail than your family." Malfoy said sizing up Louis.

"Slags don't count." I chimed in.

"Screw you Pippi." Malfoy said walking away with his slags.

"You wish!" I said sitting down and feeling a craving for Pumpkin Juice in hopes of not having my face resemble the colour of my hair.

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"My eyes! My eyes!" I exclaimed shielding my eyes from the horror I saw in front of me in the common room. It was like STD contamination in our head quarters.

"For God's sake Weasley we were only making out." Malfoy said as Slag 1 attempted to get off the floor.

"I'm scarred for life, I'll never be the same. You can pay for my medical bills for the mental trauma and the STD I'll get from that thing." I said running around like a blind maniac and bumping into something and falling onto something hard. I opened my eyes and saw my face was in his crotch.

"NOOOOO! My face is melting, I'm dying! I'm dying! It's hideous, it's revolting!" I said crumbling to the floor wailing.

"You're offending Little Scorpy." Malfoy said tending to his business.

"How will I live? The horror!" I continued crawling my way to the bathroom.

"You know, most people are excited when Little Scorpy makes an appearance." Malfoy the oh so slimy git said.

"I however am not a slag and don't want to be on the same wavelength as that thing-"

"Little Scorpy"

"-I will call that thing by that name. Now I must scrub my face off to prevent the STD from spreading." I said finding my way to the bathroom.

"Stop being so theatrical Weasley!" Malfoy said as I slammed the bathroom door shut , locked it and stuffed a chair underneath the knob for good measure.

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**I hope this one was more satisfying than the last chapter as I would like to think this story is starting to get somewhere.**

**Please review as I look to reviews to see whether I should continue or not.**

**Hope to post another chapter tomorrow.**

**Cheers!**

**Brisbane Harrinator**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's another chapter. Thank you to everyone who reviewed.**

**Enjoy and get ready for some new terms!**

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"Rose why does you face look like it's been attacked by flesh eating slugs?" Lily asked as I sat beside her in the dining hall.

"Because I nearly got a MTD." I told Lily while buttering my toast.

"MTD?"

"Malfoy Transmitted Disease." I answered as the door opened and a familiar git walked past with two girls by his side.

Speaking of the Devil.

"Nice way to match your skin with you hair Pippi. You stick out like a sore thumb." Malfoy sneered as Antonia and Julia laughed at his attempt at a joke.

"That's it! Who is Pippi?!" I asked Lily.

"Pippi Longstocking! You never heard of her in Muggle Studies?" Lily asked me.

"Lily I don't need to listen in Muggle Studdies when I have my brain and my mother." I said. Although I sounded like a real snob it was totally true. I knew what cable was by the age of 3. That's the gift of having a mother living like a muggle for eleven years.

"Pippi is this girl who is in need of a makeover. She has this carrot coloured hair which she always puts in plaits and they stick up in the air, and her face is always pinched like there's dragon dung under her nose." Lily informed me. After a minute, or two (more like five) I finally processed and marched my way over to the Slytherin table to where I looked for 2 slags with a guy inbetween them.

"My hair is an auburn colour, not carrot coloured, and I do not where my hair in plaits and it certainly does not stand up in mid air. AND I DO NOT LOOK LIKE I HAVE DRAGON DUNG UNDER MY NOSE!" I yelled attracting the entire halls attention.

"Whatever you say Pippi." Malfoy replied.

"I look nothing like Pippi Longstocking!" I yelled again making a dramatic exist from the hall by lobbing three apples at Malfoy and his 2 loyal slags.

It gave me a satisfied feeling.

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"Al it's been 3 weeks, 3 bloody weeks and it feels like I've been stuck in Knockturn Alley." I said my head resting on my Transfiguration textbook while Al was reading some weird muggle story called _Little Women. _I had lived with Malfoy and had suffered more anxiety living with him for the past 3 weeks than every holidays at Grandma Weasley's. Not only had I barely survived a MTD, but I was tired of the Pippi Longstocking remark, which had unsurprisingly caught on with the rest of Slytherin. More recently anyone who walked in during night-time would receive a screening of the Rose and Malfoy Hexing show where it was revolved obsessively over the two of us sending non-verbal hexes and screaming profanities at each other.

"So move back to Gryffindor." Al suggested.

"It's not that easy." I objected lifting my head.

"Sure it is."

"What if a teacher needed us urgently, came to the quarters and realised I was missing?" I said standing up after a trailing thought came back to my mind.

"Where are you going?" Al said following me."

"To the muggle section of the library." I replied.

"Why?"

"To find out who this Pippi Longstocking is. Since you're following you might as well help me look." I said as we reached the muggle section sifting through books.

"Hey Al, did you know that your Dad is featured in some muggle series?" I asked holding _Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone_ up for him to see. How could they even know about Uncle Harry's adventures?

"Rose focus, Pippi Longstocking." Al said as if he could read my thoughts. Maybe it was a male cousin thing.

"Right. Pippi Longstocking... Pippi Longstocking... Pippi Longstocking!" I exclaimed capturing the thin book and briskly walked back to our table. As I looked at the cover my mouth dropped.

"Ugh, my eyes don't need to see anymore of that." I replied flipping the book so I could see the back. I looked nothing like Pippi Longstocking. Pippi looked worsed that Voldemort, and said devil didn't even have a nose.

"Al, I know this will be really hard but think of some hideous muggle character that has even a slight resemble to Scorpious." I said tapping his brain.

Oh well why not play fire with fire.

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"Hello Augustus. Goodnight Augustus." I said cheerily while I walked to my bedroom.

"Excuse me. Who the heck is Augustus?" Malfoy asked. After hard collaboration with muggle book and Al. We finally decided on someone who looked hardly anything like Malfoy but still be offensive.

"No more Mrs Nice Girl Augustus." I said as I closed the door.

_3...2...1_

"No seriously who is Augustus?" Malfoy asked as he opened my door.

"You never told me who Pippi Longstocking was, so I won't tell you who Augustus is." I said grabbing the muggle book I got my inspiration from and starting to read it, giving him a teeny weeny hint, not that he would recognise it if it was thrust into his face.

"Weasley this is driving me mad, who in sams heck is Augustus." He asked twirling a piece of my hair with his thumb and forefinger breathing heavily on my neck. At the knock of the door he flicked my hair away from him, like it was a contagious disease.

"That's Antonia, prepare to wear ear buds." He said getting up and walking away.

"Absolutely not, there will be none of that in this place!" I said grabbing a hold of his arm.

"Weasley you are not the boss of me." He said trying to tug away from my strong grip but ultimately failing. Having a brother and 4 male cousins, I had some strength on my side.

"No but I live here and I absolutely forbid it! I do nothing of the sort here so I expect you would do the same." I threatened.

"You do nothing of the sort because you are a prude." Malfoy said earning a slap in the face from me.

"I am not!"

"Name one guy who you've kissed. On the lips for more than 3 seconds that wasn't a dare." Malfoy said with a reply of silence. He smirked.

"Why do you care so much what happens in my room prude?" He sneered.

"As it will spread through the quarters and I don't want any chance of getting a MTD!" I replied.

"What's an MTD?" Antonia asked.

"SHUT UP AND LEAVE!" We both shouted at her. Well no-one invited her in. Malfoy might have invited her out but not in. Antonia hung her head and slowly walked out, taking her time.

"No Malfoy Transmitted Disease for me." I chanted making sure he could hear.

"Malfoy Transmitted Disease? That's utterly ridiculous Weasley." He said yanking my hand so I would stop my chant and the dance that went along with it.'

"Well you're the one who can't keep his thing to himself." I stated.

"The thing has a name, Little Scorpy, remember?" He said clearly livid.

"Like I said, you're the one who can't keep his thing to himself, even for one minute." I said a bit too loudly and instantly regretting it. It kind of slipped out and it was low of my to say every minute.

"At least I have a life Wealsey. The only people you can call your friends are your cousins and even most of them probably hate you." I gasped. Never had anyone said that to me and it was probably the most truthful statement I had heard all day. He was speaking the truth, the only people I would talk to was anyone with the last name _Weasley _or _Potter._

"You're wrong. They don't hate me." I whispered.

"They do hate you Weasley! The only reason they put up with you and your whining is because they're family and they're obligated to do that. And then what do they do? They bitch about you behind your back and tell everyone how Rose Weasley, Head Girl, is a stuck up piece of crap that is dirt under everyone's feet!" He yelled. There was an ominous silence and the feeling of water trickling down my cheeks. I couldn't look at him, couldn't face the fact. I let go of his hand and made my way quickly towards my room and refused to let it all out until I dead bolted the door and Silencio'd the room.

Malfoy didn't really do or say anything wrong. He was just telling the truth.

And the truth hurt.

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**I hoped you liked it. Pippi has been sorted and Augustus will be sorted later through the story. The only hint I will give is that I hope you are a fan of Roald Dahl. I'll try to update tomorrow. Thanks again everyone and keep reviewing.**

**Cheers!**

**Brisbane Harrinator**


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